We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
