Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
