Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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