Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
