Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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