Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
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