Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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