That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
