btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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