I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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