is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize