He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
