Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
