dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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