Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Alive.
So much puke
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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