Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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