she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
