I can text with my tongue
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
