He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
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