is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
