I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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