The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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