There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
