It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize