we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
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He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
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Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
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