maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
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