Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
