doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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