dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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