I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
birth control should be required to get into college
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
