The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
