Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
