you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Randomize
