TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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