Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Randomize
