I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
