blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
a search helicopter?!
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
