Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
