Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
