that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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