the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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