Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize