Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize