my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Randomize