no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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