D3 body, D1 cock
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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