I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
