Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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