Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
