she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
