This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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