She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
