i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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