i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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