his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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