4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
