and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
did you just send me my own nude
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
