He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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