I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Randomize
