3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize
