So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
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I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
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I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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