Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
