party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
