Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
