i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
