Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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